Dear Santa,
I realize it has been a very long time since you have received a letter from me. My how the times have changed since I can now email you and read your blog to keep up to date on the happenings at North Pole Inc. Glad the Elves strike is over. I hope you do go ahead and start your podcast next year. I’m looking forward to it. I also do not have my driver’s license. I don’t have my sleigh license either.
You’re probably wondering why a 30–something woman is writing a letter to you. Or maybe you’re used to that. I suspect you’ve been “around the block a few times” and have really seen it all, so I guess you’re really not that surprised.
I’m writing to you because I don’t know where else to turn. I only want one thing this Christmas. In fact, Bandit and I both want the same thing. We want his cancer to go into remission and for him to live a long happy life. So that’s it. The one gift I want for Christmas. I know it’s not an easy one, like the year I got my easy-bake oven, but what did you expect from a 30–something year old, anyway. I know you know how old I am, but there’s no need to post that here for all to see.
Ross says to take it easy on the fat content this Christmas. I was thinking of campaigning for rice cakes and skim milk for Santa, but perhaps you’re lactose intolerant, in which case, you could have that lactose-free milk. It’s actually quite good.
Have a safe flight :)
Love,
Amanda and Bandit
