Our dear, dear pooch died in our arms yesterday, January 3, 2008. We brought him in to the clinic that had been lovingly treating him for his lymphoma. It was with heavy hearts and deep sadness that we concluded that it was time for Bandit’s suffering to end. I can’t begin to tell you the pain his loss is causing us both. He was an absolutely wonderful, loving, gentle soul in the body of a sweet, soft, cuddly, warm dog.
Bandit had spent December 30, 31, January 1 and the better part of January 2 in the hospital. We knew we wanted to and had to bring him home to give him at least a night at home in his own bed with all of his own things around him and with us cuddling him and loving him. He was so happy to get into the truck and to come home. He just wanted to go right upstairs to bed. That dog loved his (our) bed. Denver seemed to know that this was the end of his journey and laid on the bed with him. We spent the morning together, lying in bed and cuddling. Bandit had decided he wanted to go for one last walk in the neighbourhood, so I put his coat on him and took him out. Ross came with us and we walked over to the school just down the street. Afterwards, we brought him home and bundled him up in blankets to warm him up. For Ross, the hardest part was getting into the truck to go. On our way to the clinic, we dropped by High Park to fulfill Ross’s last wish with Bandit. We had a lovely little walk in the park and took some last pictures with our beloved pooch.
In the clinic, the staff were all very sad to see that it was time for the suffering to end. They have a lovely family room there with couches and dim lighting. Bandit’s favourite nurse J.P. came in with a comforter and made a cozy bed. We brought Bandit’s favourite blankets with us too. We both laid on the floor, cradling him. Bandit went very peacefully and very quickly in our arms.
Many people have supported us, comforted us and prayed for us along this journey and for that we are deeply grateful. For me, now, comes the hard part - getting used to being without him. He filled our lives with so much joy and love and we are missing him terribly.
I realize it has been a very long time since you have received a letter from me. My how the times have changed since I can now email you and read your blog to keep up to date on the happenings at North Pole Inc. Glad the Elves strike is over. I hope you do go ahead and start your podcast next year. I’m looking forward to it. I also do not have my driver’s license. I don’t have my sleigh license either.
You’re probably wondering why a 30–something woman is writing a letter to you. Or maybe you’re used to that. I suspect you’ve been “around the block a few times” and have really seen it all, so I guess you’re really not that surprised.
I’m writing to you because I don’t know where else to turn. I only want one thing this Christmas. In fact, Bandit and I both want the same thing. We want his cancer to go into remission and for him to live a long happy life. So that’s it. The one gift I want for Christmas. I know it’s not an easy one, like the year I got my easy-bake oven, but what did you expect from a 30–something year old, anyway. I know you know how old I am, but there’s no need to post that here for all to see.
Ross says to take it easy on the fat content this Christmas. I was thinking of campaigning for rice cakes and skim milk for Santa, but perhaps you’re lactose intolerant, in which case, you could have that lactose-free milk. It’s actually quite good.
A new thing on Crochetville is online classes. I’m thinking of signing up for one or two. I think it’s such a great idea. It’s a great way to learn new techniques.
I’m currently working on:
- comfort shawl for a step-aunt (feather and fan pattern)
– scarf (gift) (my own design based on a stitch pattern I found)
– vest for me (beautiful kit from Mary Maxim)
– various cross stitch projects – Jennifer Aikman-Smith’s dragon ornament for one…
– afghan for nephew # 2
Want to start:
– comfort shawl for a lady I met at the CSNF
– comfort shawl for a woman I was talking to last night
– comfort shawl for me – I could use a little comfort myself right now
– hat for me, hat for Ross
– Christmas presents for family………
Please feel free to send me gifts of time. I sure could use it. I also need the housework and garden fairies to come and help me out. If you see them, would you kindly send them over?
Busy busy busy around here and tired tired tired. And crocheting and knitting and more crocheting and knitting with some camping thrown in.
Bandit’s on my mind since we’ve discovered a lump in his neck - again. I’m alarmed. The man of the house is not. I’m crushed, actually. Please tell me it’s not the lymphoma kicking into action again… sigh… this is where I’m at. Please remember Bandit in your prayers. He’s young and full of love and still has lots of it to share.
It’s like Bandit knows that after this lovely long weekend together, now I must return to work. We’ve had our walk, I’ve packed up my lunch and my bag and I’m just eating something before I go. Bandit is lying behind me – he came up the stairs and into the office quiet as a mouse and now he’s lying at my feet hoping that his sweet presence will make it unbearable for me to leave him for so long to go to work. I hate leaving him. AGH!
Have you ever seen someone’s FO and wanted to make one for yourself only to discover that it was from a Leisure Arts Leaflet and then are unable to find it anywhere???!!! I have. It’s so frustrating. Today, over at the ‘ville, someone posted a new favourite link for me! You can purchase those Leisure Arts Leaflets online at LeisureArtsLibrary.com. Yay!
Yesterday, while lying in bed on sick day # 2, I watched Little Women which was released in November 1933 with Katharine Hepburn as Jo. I love watching those oldies. Crocheted doilies, afghans, capelets and shawls decorated the set and the little women. I was trying to work on a little project for my soon-to-be-wed sister. A movie like that on a sick day is definitely comforting.
Ok, so I’ve completed two new projects. Post to flickr? Post to blog? Log it on Ravelry (look for Her on Ravelry) and share in my groups? Post to all? Share on facebook? Post to Crochetville? Post to Craftster? Sell on etsy?
Just last week, someone asked me if I knew why we call afghans “Afghans”. She wondered what was the origin of the afghan. Well, surfing around today and not even looking for the answer, I found it. The Origin of the Afghan.
Well, I'm working on another comfort shawl for Grandma C, but I must stop to make a comfortghan for a woman I know who is in the hospital in palliative care.
I've decided to use this Victorian Dream Square. I will have white coloured centres and probably shades of blues on the outside. I’ll have to look through my scraps. Actually, multi-coloured would be fun too. If anyone out there would like to make a square for charity, consider making this one and sending it to me to be part of this comfortghan. I’m easy enough to reach via mandalanda2000ATyahooDOTca.
I remember the first year we were married, we received a Christmas card and letter from you. You included a photo of you and Uncle Fred. I had never met you, since you lived so far away and you weren’t able to attend our wedding. I was so surprised and so touched to receive that letter. That began our correspondence over the next 11 years. You sent me photo of you when you graduated from university with your Bachelor’s Degree. I mailed you a card that I made myself. I had made a paper doll of you, complete with white curly hair and a grad gown and cap. I thought it was amazing that you went back to school later in life to complete your degree. Way to go! Over the years it was Christmas letters mostly, with some more thrown in for life events. Then came the internet. I remember how thrilled I was to receive that first email from you! We were giddy with excitement that we could send messages and photos to each other so easily. We were living in Etobicoke in our apt at the time when I received the first email from you. I jumped up from the desk in the office to run off and tell Ross the exciting news! Not many seniors that I know are interested in learning how to use a computer - nevermind email and the internet! I thought to myself, “What a neat lady!” When Uncle Fred passed away, my heart went right out to you and I did the only thing I could think of for you from a distance. I knitted you a comfort shawl. While I knitted it, I thought of you wrapped up snuggly in it. It kept me warm as it grew on my needles. As I told you in my letter when I sent it, I taught my niece (who was 3 at the time) how to knit. She actually knitted part way through a row on that shawl. She sat in my lap, tongue sticking out in concentration with those great big wooden 12 mm needles held firmly in her wee hands. I wish I had a picture of her doing that. She said, “This is fun, Auntie Amanda!” I think that was the best part of the shawl, really. Not that I made it for you, but that my niece worked on it too and gave it an extra-special touch. I wish I had sent you those photos. I will miss you, my great-aunt-in-law, my penpal, my friend. I will miss those letters at Christmas in the mail and miss receiving those emails out of the blue. My vision of you now is you with perfect eyesight, the lungs of a 20 year old, with your arm around Uncle Fred and that big sweet smile on your face. We love you, we miss you.
A sunbeam to warm you, A moonbeam to charm you, A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you. ~Irish Blessing
and my favourite:
"Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that swiftly blow. I am the diamond glint on newly fallen snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the soft and gentle autumn rain
When you wake from sleep in the early morning hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight. I am the soft, starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep."
The message below is from a friend of mine. Please read Amy's message below and help her and her sister in any way you can. Pass this on to anyone you think might be able to help.
Dear Friends,
As the sky breaks up and the rain falls around us, the earth seems to be mimicking the emotional upheaval my sister Kim and I are currently experiencing. Today, after over three months of paperwork and bank schinanagans, we were turned down for a business loan that our banker had led us to believe was a shoe-in. No options. No “let’s try something else”. That’s it. I am an “unemployed” mother, my sister an “unemployed” recent graduate, no assets except part of a house which we already borrowed against to allow me to stay home with my beautiful daughter Mattea for the last nine months, and to provide the “personal investment” of $40 000 that we have already put into the start-up of our business. No understanding or respect for the vision we have of creating a home for women to love their bodies, love their sexual selves, their reproductive selves, their sisterly, goddess selves.
In a cry for hope, we are reaching out to our fellow womankind to help us. We need $40 000 more to finish our start-up – to finish paying our contractors, to buy our merchandize, to buy our signage. We would not ask, if we didn’t know that so many of you are aching to help and yearning to be part of what we are creating. Women supporting women. Bodies loving bodies. Hearts reaching hearts. What can we offer you in return? Nothing and everything, depending how you look at it. Our public display of thanks, by placing your name on our website. Our eternal gratitude. Most importantly, a symbolic “ownership” in “Red Tent Sisters,” a business dedicated to serving women’s hearts, bodies and minds. We welcome your e-mails and phone calls; we cherish the opportunity to tell you about what we are doing. And, if you know of any other women who know us, or know of us, or would be supportive of our cause, please feel free to forward this e-mail to them. Please remember that even a small contribution, made by enough people, can help realize our dream; that is the power of the internet.
Her knits, crochets, blogs, cross stitches, scrapbooks, cleans, skates, is an OTA/PTA, is a Laughter Leader, rides her bike, procrastinates, forgets, is married, loves McDonald's and all things chocolate, loves Merlot, loves rainy days, is a Capricorn and a Pig in Chinese Astrology
Still, we have 
